I have known a certain man for over thirty years. We have never had the right moment to be together. He was married and I was married or he was divorced and I wasn’t. And we’ve shared everything ( “If things were different” … and so on). I spent a week with him, and it was wonderful. When he is drunk he tells me he loves me, and I am the one he wants to be with and I am everything. But when he is sober it’s different. He tells me he didn’t want me to leave, and I am all he has.

He has known for year that I have loved him for over 30 years, and at times he tells me the same thing. Now he’s angry at me because I won’t talk to him. What to do. It’s been over 30 years, but my heart can take the back and forth anymore. If I understand you correctly, the guy loves you when he’s drunk but not when he’s sober. Or he’s fun to be around when he’s drunk but not when he’s sober. If this is the case, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with him. What happens then?

You have to ask yourself, “If I could keep this guy drunk long enough to marry me, what would my life be like afterwards?” I suppose if he stays drunk, everything will be okay. But at some point, he’s going to have to sober up and go to work, right? While I’m all in favor of having a couple of drinks to take the edge off, I worry that drinking heavily on a consistent basis is not conducive to mental or physical health. And you know, it’s terribly aging. What happens then?

You say your heart can’t take this situation anymore, so I suggest you listen to your heart. Deep down, you know perfectly well what life will be like if you have to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life. What to do? You know what to do. You say your heart can’t take this situation anymore, so I suggest you listen to your heart. Deep down, you know perfectly well what life will be like if you have to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life.